I’ve been working through the issues and aftermath of the complete annihilation of my religious beliefs a fair bit recently. And well…
I have this weird dichotomy of thought. I’m pissed off, because I spent three point five years of my life skipping opportunities because I was being obedient. On the other hand, I have no one to be pissed of at. I can’t be angry at God, because he doesn’t exist. I can’t be mad at Christians, because although some of them provided the catalyst for both my conversion and de-conversion, they didn’t make my choices for me, and I can hardly blame them for preaching what they genuinely believed was best.
And I can’t blame me, because I acted with integrity and honestly given the information I had available at the time.
So, I’m angry at nothing. Usually late at night when I need sleep and/or food.
Really, I should happy that I spent three point five, not thirty five years doing this. But I’m still pissed off.
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